http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/ Sun, 01 Aug 2010 09:14:48 +0000 MyBB http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=79 Thu, 10 Dec 2009 20:06:05 -0800 http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=79 http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=35 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:03:09 -0800 http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=35
something i dont understand is the beating of wives. i know in islam it says that we can beat the women lightly. i dont understand. im muslim and when i dont understand i prefer being clear about it. and now exactly why and understand. i read explanations of it but i still dont quite get it. do you have a simple explanation with examples. thanks]]>
something i dont understand is the beating of wives. i know in islam it says that we can beat the women lightly. i dont understand. im muslim and when i dont understand i prefer being clear about it. and now exactly why and understand. i read explanations of it but i still dont quite get it. do you have a simple explanation with examples. thanks]]> http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=8 Fri, 03 Apr 2009 00:19:44 -0700 http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=8
One alternative has been online matrimonial sites, but most of them are shady to the max.

So here's the question - if we were to re-examine this medium as a method of getting people married, what sort of features, checks, and balances would we need in order to make a site that was reputable, honorable, and most importantly, gave one a sense of, "I'm not a loser for coming to this site, it's an amazingly done service."

Siraaj]]>
One alternative has been online matrimonial sites, but most of them are shady to the max.

So here's the question - if we were to re-examine this medium as a method of getting people married, what sort of features, checks, and balances would we need in order to make a site that was reputable, honorable, and most importantly, gave one a sense of, "I'm not a loser for coming to this site, it's an amazingly done service."

Siraaj]]> http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7 Wed, 01 Apr 2009 21:23:52 -0700 http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7
But here's the thing - I don't want to charge $150 / class like happens right now with online learning. Heck, I don't even want to charge $15 / class - i'm thinking maybe a $10 monthly subscription fee.

What do you think interest level in that sort of project would be?

Siraaj]]>
But here's the thing - I don't want to charge $150 / class like happens right now with online learning. Heck, I don't even want to charge $15 / class - i'm thinking maybe a $10 monthly subscription fee.

What do you think interest level in that sort of project would be?

Siraaj]]> http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=6 Wed, 01 Apr 2009 12:47:48 -0700 http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=6
“Festivals are acts of a religious nature derived from the Shari’ah, and as such we must have a precedent to follow and not to innovate.”

Here's what gets left out (about 3 pages):

“And so is the case with what some people have innovated, either in imitation of the Christians who celebrate the birthday of Jesus (as) or out of love for the Prophet (saas) and in order to exalt him. And it may be that Allah may reward them for this love and for the ijtihaad they made, but not for the innovation of taking the birthday of the Prophet (saas) as a festival; despite the differences regarding his actual birthday. For indeed, this was an act never performed by the earlier generations … had it been good in essence or correct Islamically, then those earlier generations (may Allah be pleased with them) would have more right to such a deed than us, for they had greater love for the Messenger (saas) and exalted him more than we do, and they were more concerned and ardent with performing good deeds than us.”

“And loving him and exalting him (saas) in truth is through following him, obeying him and adhering to his instructions; by reviving his Sunnah both outwardly and inwardly; by spreading the guidance with which he was sent; and by striving upon all of that with our hearts, hands and tongues. Indeed, this was the way of the foremost among the earlier generations from the Muhajireen and Ansaar and those who followed them with excellence. Whereas the majority of those whom you find enthusiastic to implement such innovations as what we have discussed – despite what they may have of good intentions and ijtihaad, and it is hoped that Allah will reward them for these two (intention and ijtihaad) – yet you generally find them weak and apathetic in regards to adhering to the instructions of the Messenger (saas) …”

“Instead, they are like the one who opens the Quran but doesn’t read from it, or if he reads from it, he doesn’t implement it; or like the one who decorates the masjid but doesn’t pray in it, or prays in it rarely …”

“to call people to adhere to the Sunnah as best as possible. Hence, if you see someone upon such an innovation (Mawlid), and you suspect that if he leaves it then he will do something worse, then do not forbid an evil that results in a greater evil … but instead, if in any given innovation there is some good, then you should compensate for the evil within it with any legislated good that you can; for indeed the hearts don’t typically abandon something unless it is for something else.”

“And many of those who censure others in regards to innovations either in worship or traditions, you find them deficient in practicing some acts from the Sunnah in these two categories or in encouraging others to do them. And indeed it may even be that their condition is worse than some of those who are practicing these innovations that are tainted with some degree of dislike (makruh). For the religion is to command good and to forbid evil and neither of these two takes precedence over the other. So one should not forbid an evil without commanding a good to take its place in the same way that we call people to the worship of Allah alone after having forbid them from worshipping others beside Him.”

“So to magnify the birthday of the Prophet (saas) and to take it as a seasonal celebration, as some people might do and it might be that they are rewarded greatly for their good intentions and for their exalting of the Messenger of Allah (saas), for as I have previously mentioned that some among them do so in a good way … and in this regards it has been reported that Imam Ahmad once said about one of the Muslim rulers that had reportedly spent one thousand dinaars or so for a (decorated) copy of the Qur’an, “Leave him be, for that is the best thing which gold can be spent upon”. But it is well known that the math-hab of Imam Ahmad looks upon the decoration of the Qur’an as something disliked (makruh). Yet what the Imam meant by his statement was that this act had some goodness in it and also some defect that we dislike. For if they were prevented from doing this act it may be that they will then turn to another deed which has no goodness in it whatsoever but is instead evil in its entirety like buying immoral books and so forth …”]]>
“Festivals are acts of a religious nature derived from the Shari’ah, and as such we must have a precedent to follow and not to innovate.”

Here's what gets left out (about 3 pages):

“And so is the case with what some people have innovated, either in imitation of the Christians who celebrate the birthday of Jesus (as) or out of love for the Prophet (saas) and in order to exalt him. And it may be that Allah may reward them for this love and for the ijtihaad they made, but not for the innovation of taking the birthday of the Prophet (saas) as a festival; despite the differences regarding his actual birthday. For indeed, this was an act never performed by the earlier generations … had it been good in essence or correct Islamically, then those earlier generations (may Allah be pleased with them) would have more right to such a deed than us, for they had greater love for the Messenger (saas) and exalted him more than we do, and they were more concerned and ardent with performing good deeds than us.”

“And loving him and exalting him (saas) in truth is through following him, obeying him and adhering to his instructions; by reviving his Sunnah both outwardly and inwardly; by spreading the guidance with which he was sent; and by striving upon all of that with our hearts, hands and tongues. Indeed, this was the way of the foremost among the earlier generations from the Muhajireen and Ansaar and those who followed them with excellence. Whereas the majority of those whom you find enthusiastic to implement such innovations as what we have discussed – despite what they may have of good intentions and ijtihaad, and it is hoped that Allah will reward them for these two (intention and ijtihaad) – yet you generally find them weak and apathetic in regards to adhering to the instructions of the Messenger (saas) …”

“Instead, they are like the one who opens the Quran but doesn’t read from it, or if he reads from it, he doesn’t implement it; or like the one who decorates the masjid but doesn’t pray in it, or prays in it rarely …”

“to call people to adhere to the Sunnah as best as possible. Hence, if you see someone upon such an innovation (Mawlid), and you suspect that if he leaves it then he will do something worse, then do not forbid an evil that results in a greater evil … but instead, if in any given innovation there is some good, then you should compensate for the evil within it with any legislated good that you can; for indeed the hearts don’t typically abandon something unless it is for something else.”

“And many of those who censure others in regards to innovations either in worship or traditions, you find them deficient in practicing some acts from the Sunnah in these two categories or in encouraging others to do them. And indeed it may even be that their condition is worse than some of those who are practicing these innovations that are tainted with some degree of dislike (makruh). For the religion is to command good and to forbid evil and neither of these two takes precedence over the other. So one should not forbid an evil without commanding a good to take its place in the same way that we call people to the worship of Allah alone after having forbid them from worshipping others beside Him.”

“So to magnify the birthday of the Prophet (saas) and to take it as a seasonal celebration, as some people might do and it might be that they are rewarded greatly for their good intentions and for their exalting of the Messenger of Allah (saas), for as I have previously mentioned that some among them do so in a good way … and in this regards it has been reported that Imam Ahmad once said about one of the Muslim rulers that had reportedly spent one thousand dinaars or so for a (decorated) copy of the Qur’an, “Leave him be, for that is the best thing which gold can be spent upon”. But it is well known that the math-hab of Imam Ahmad looks upon the decoration of the Qur’an as something disliked (makruh). Yet what the Imam meant by his statement was that this act had some goodness in it and also some defect that we dislike. For if they were prevented from doing this act it may be that they will then turn to another deed which has no goodness in it whatsoever but is instead evil in its entirety like buying immoral books and so forth …”]]> http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=5 Wed, 01 Apr 2009 08:44:27 -0700 http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=5
This is my invite to both sides to post their thoughts openly on this topic, and really get out there once and for all what it is you dislike, detest, etc about the whole biz as well as what you like. As for myself, I think the intent is good, but I think the way it's being implemented is very bad.

Siraaj

PS - and I'm not a coach, nor am I going to solicit you for anything during or after this post ]]>
This is my invite to both sides to post their thoughts openly on this topic, and really get out there once and for all what it is you dislike, detest, etc about the whole biz as well as what you like. As for myself, I think the intent is good, but I think the way it's being implemented is very bad.

Siraaj

PS - and I'm not a coach, nor am I going to solicit you for anything during or after this post ]]> http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=4 Wed, 01 Apr 2009 08:39:56 -0700 http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=4 virginity double standard.

Basically, a sister posted anonymously about how before she came to Islam, she had one boyfriend with whom she slept with, but once she came to understand Islam properly, she ended her relationship and became a fully practicing Muslimah (alhamdulillaah).

Now she fears that her past may come back to haunt her because of the cultural stigma associated with a woman who was no longer a virgin (despite that she repented).

There were some interesting comments from brothers about her post, click on the link above to read it all and post some of your thoughts here as well. My personal opinion is that we simply have a lot of back home thinking still running through our minds (I'm talking about the men) and most brothers from immigrant families are not capable or mature enough to handle such a situation, placing too much value on this not so spiritual commodity, as though it's a prize of some kind.]]> virginity double standard.

Basically, a sister posted anonymously about how before she came to Islam, she had one boyfriend with whom she slept with, but once she came to understand Islam properly, she ended her relationship and became a fully practicing Muslimah (alhamdulillaah).

Now she fears that her past may come back to haunt her because of the cultural stigma associated with a woman who was no longer a virgin (despite that she repented).

There were some interesting comments from brothers about her post, click on the link above to read it all and post some of your thoughts here as well. My personal opinion is that we simply have a lot of back home thinking still running through our minds (I'm talking about the men) and most brothers from immigrant families are not capable or mature enough to handle such a situation, placing too much value on this not so spiritual commodity, as though it's a prize of some kind.]]> http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=3 Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:40:54 -0700 http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=3
I was of the opinion that should start right away so that she would get used to it, and I made my case passionately. My wife also made her case - she cried (because I was belligerent).

Score +1 wife. She won that one. After that, it took some time adjusting to communicating in a way that wouldn't upset her. It also took her a while to realize all my insensitivities of her feelings were unintentional and had absolutely nothing to do with not caring for her.

In the end, I would say it took us about 2 years to really adjust and settle down and really understand one another. What about the rest of the married folks - how long does it take? How about for divorced folks who re-marry? Does it take as much time as the first, or does marriage help you fast track that issue?

Siraaj]]>
I was of the opinion that should start right away so that she would get used to it, and I made my case passionately. My wife also made her case - she cried (because I was belligerent).

Score +1 wife. She won that one. After that, it took some time adjusting to communicating in a way that wouldn't upset her. It also took her a while to realize all my insensitivities of her feelings were unintentional and had absolutely nothing to do with not caring for her.

In the end, I would say it took us about 2 years to really adjust and settle down and really understand one another. What about the rest of the married folks - how long does it take? How about for divorced folks who re-marry? Does it take as much time as the first, or does marriage help you fast track that issue?

Siraaj]]> http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=2 Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:32:28 -0700 http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=2
Siraaj]]>
Siraaj]]> http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=1 Mon, 30 Mar 2009 22:47:03 -0700 http://muslimbestlife.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=1
- The one who reprimands you values your friendship, and the one who is at ease with your vices belittles your friendship.

- And you should not expect compensation for your generosity other than the rewards bestowed upon you by your Lord, Glory and Greatness to Him. And you should allow that the one you have helped might be the first to harm you and to work against you.

- Do not counsel on the condition that your advice will be accepted, do not intercede on somebody's behalf on the condition that your intercession will be accepted, and do not give on the condition that you will be rewarded, but for the sake of employing your resources virtuously, and for the sake of fulfilling your duties to counsel, intercede, and give charity.]]>
- The one who reprimands you values your friendship, and the one who is at ease with your vices belittles your friendship.

- And you should not expect compensation for your generosity other than the rewards bestowed upon you by your Lord, Glory and Greatness to Him. And you should allow that the one you have helped might be the first to harm you and to work against you.

- Do not counsel on the condition that your advice will be accepted, do not intercede on somebody's behalf on the condition that your intercession will be accepted, and do not give on the condition that you will be rewarded, but for the sake of employing your resources virtuously, and for the sake of fulfilling your duties to counsel, intercede, and give charity.]]>